What’s The Best Way To Make A Small Fortune In The Stock Market?

What’s The Best Way To Make A Small Fortune In The Stock Market?

When the lodge meeting broke up, Joe confided to a friend…

“Ed, I’m in a terrible pickle! I’m strapped for cash and I haven’t the slightest idea where I’m going to get it from!”

Ed replied…

“I’m glad to hear that. I was afraid you might have an idea you could borrow it from me!”

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The state takes one and gives it to someone else.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and gives you the milk.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and sells you the milk.

MILITARY DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The state takes both of them, accidentally kills one and spills the milk in the sewer.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to decide who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair “Cowgate”.

ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors kill you and take the cows.

Q: How do you know when job market is getting worse?

A: People forced to work for peanuts, can’t even do that!

Q: What will happen if the DOW average falls any further?

A: They’ll add a N to the end of it!

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks…

“What do two plus two equal?”

The mathematician replies, “Four.”

The interviewer asks, “Four, exactly?”

The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says,

“Yes, four, exactly.”

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question,

“What do two plus two equal?”

The accountant says, “On average, four – give or take ten percent, but on average, four.”

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question,

“What do two plus two equal?”

 The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says,

“What do you want it to equal”?

Q: How is the bad economy affecting the Super Bowl?

A: Instead of a coin toss they are now going to play rock, paper, scissors!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *